Meeting Etiquette Rules of the Gods

Rule 1: Thou Shalt Not Touch Thy Colleagues' Food

Without explicit consent, touching thy neighbor's sandwich is punishable by death. Or, at the very least, a strongly-worded email from HR.

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Rule 2: The Chair Is Sacred

The person sitting in the chair has been ordained by the gods to make all decisions, answer all questions, and judge all opinions. Do not question this sacred authority.

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Rule 3: Thou Shalt Not Use Thy Phone During MeetingsRule 4: Thou Shalt Speak With Vowel-Based Vocabulary

In the sacred halls of meetings, only words that contain vowels shall be spoken. A, E, I, O, and U are the only vowels that matter. Do not, we repeat, DO NOT, utter words that contain consonants.

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Rule 5: The Munching Shall Be Done In Silence

When consuming sustenance, do so with reverence. No slurping, no crunching, no chomping. The sound of meeting-munching is a sacred thing.

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Rule 6: The Meeting Shall Be Ended

Meetings, like all things, must come to an end. The gods are not infinite in their patience, nor are they infinite in their time.

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